We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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