Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
