Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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