Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
