Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
