the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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