from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize