Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
