I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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