Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
