I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
