fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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