it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize