he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
