Will you blow on my dice?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize