So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
