i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
