Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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