just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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