This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize