Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
