i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
there is puke in my bra ... again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
