it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
