Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
