lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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