mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
