I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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