ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize