you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize