And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
