What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
