i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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