omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
