My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
