just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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