He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am full of burrito and curiosity
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
