Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
