I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
