North Korea, Best Korea!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
