I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
