Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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