So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
