that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
