Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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