He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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