When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
