She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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