You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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