Is it normal to miss your booty call?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
