How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Screwed.edu
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize