yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
