Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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