Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
