i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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