She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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