I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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