Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
