Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
