The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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