is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize