If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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