And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
