are you so shy because you have an std?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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